Reasons why I don’t get any writing done

A short list of the near-insurmountable obstacles I overcame to bring you this trash pile.

The laptop is not within reach.

I don’t have my own working laptop. Unless you count the Surface my job gave me, but I’m not lugging that home every day so I can enjoy it for personal use. I know they’re glorified tablets but I take public transportation and every ounce I carry matters. So most of the time, when I want to surf the web or open 16 tabs of articles I’ll never wind up reading, it’s done on my iPhone s—which, yes, is basically the smallest model offered. I won’t be writing the next great American novel on this.

Instead, I borrow one of my husband’s. He has two. Needless to say, I do not have access to the Mac, I get the Asus. I even have my own Windows account on it. This is either thoughtful or strategic because he’s a software developer and, as such, trusts literally no one to have access to his accounts. Perhaps in particular me due to my constant searches for coupon codes from potentially shady websites and Google image quests that take me to gif paradise.

This laptop’s home is on the top of our tall bookshelf. I have to use a chair to reach it. This often feels like too high a mountain to climb.

The laptop was not charged.

I get free access to a reasonably nice laptop BUT it’s not readily powered up and ready to roll? UUUGHHNNHGGGDHHHH.

It started to rain.

I like a nice writing environment. Not like candles (but that would be nice) or the right snack (it would be a non-crumbly pastry, like a solid tea cookie) or anything too extreme, but it IS nice to set the tone a bit.

I decided to do some writing on my balcony and Enjoy Nature (™)—jk I was getting hit by stray leaves because it’s windy—considering I live in Chicago and never know when the last nice day will be. The fact that I got myself outside as quickly as I did was a feat on its own, because normally I like to throw on shoes because I don’t love the way concrete and dirt feels on my feet. Anyhow I got out there and it started to drizzle.

Again, this is not my computer. I had to head inside for the sake of my marriage.

Had to find a new set up. Opted for the couch because it was closest to the plug I was already using and I wasn’t going through THAT charade again.


Less directly related to today, because I’ve already made the executive decision to probably not work out, but I don’t see how you can be both physically active and creatively active. Creativity takes a lot of time (see all the trials and tribulations above just to get set up) and you know what also requires a solid bite of your day? Working out. You can either be fit, fun and fabulous or CREATE GREAT WORKS OF ART. At least not if you also have a full-time job. Someone please get one of those wellness websites to do a Q&A with a modern-day creative genius that has one of those headlines where you instantly know you’ll never be good enough/have the time. Something like “What Pulitzer Prize Winner Colson Whitehead Learned about Barre Classes and Ionized Stream Water that Changed the Way He Writes.”

From what I can tell, the only way to fit in workouts, a full-time job, eating food, running errands and being creative into a day is to not sleep. Anytime I’ve complained about the time it takes to exercise that could potentially be better spent, people tell me to wake up earlier.

Let me stop you right there.

The solution to any problem is not to be more tired.

The power button on this laptop is part of the keyboard and directly above the backspace button and I make a lot of mistakes.

Which means I have doubled my mistakes by repeatedly turning this laptop off on accident.

Speaking of the keyboard on this laptop, I feel like it’s very sensitive. I keep gently grazing the touchpad with my palm and moving the cursor to another part of the screen, placing one sentence into a totally different paragraph. I also somehow managed to zoom in 500%. Why is that even an option? Google knows how to autofill exactly what I’m thinking based on two words but my laptop doesn’t know it’s a mistake that I would suddenly and extremely quickly need to see half a sentence in the largest possible format.

I just received a pop-up alert that this computer needs to restart to finish installing updates.

Is this the modern-day equivalent of Shakespeare needing to refill his ink for his quill? An aside: I’ve never spelled Shakespeare nor Milwaukee right on the first try.


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